Even before being in a romantic relationship with my now wife, I was trying to understand what marriage is and what it means to be married. From the moment I asked her to be my girlfriend to the months leading up to the proposal, I strived to learn more about the concept from every avenue possible: sermons, books, and testimonials from married couples.
It’s About Perspective
One of the most influential resources I looked into was Tim Keller’s The Meaning of Marriage. The book discusses different aspects of relationships and marriage from a biblical perspective. The author also shares experiences and personal stories of married life together with his wife Kathy.
Don’t let the fact that Tim Keller is a pastor fool you – this book can be relevant even if you’re not a Christian. If the bible verses don’t resonate with you, he also uses statistics to back up certain arguments. I’m a very logical person, so although I find the bible verses helpful, it’s nice to see how some of the claims he makes are reflected in the society.
A Book that Changed My Life
The Meaning of Marriage challenged me to not view a relationship with a consumer mindset (a “Me” relationship) as we’ve been conditioned to do so by society. Rather than thinking “what do I get from being in a relationship with this girl?”, I should instead be thinking about how we can better one another and glorify God in our relationship together. It’s about reducing the concept of “me” in a relationship and focusing on the “we” – something that seems to be lost in today’s world.
This book opened my eyes to the dangers of dating around until I found the “perfect one.” Around the time I started this book, I just came out of a relationship so I was seeking for answers on what it meant to really love somebody. I felt that this book did a great job in explaining why it’s so hard to love in a consumer-centric society like the United States. In a consumer-centric society, even if you find something good, you’ll almost always come across something better. With that same thinking, if I kept focusing on finding a girl that had to match my laundry list of desirable features and personality traits, I’d be stuck in an endless cycle of coveting because there will always be a better one out there.
I wasn’t kidding when I said this book changed my life. I’m a married man now so I was pretty accurate in saying this book changed my life. When my wife and I are on lesser-than-smooth grounds in our relationship, I try to think back on this book and remind myself of what it means to love someone: less “me” and more “we.”
Whether you’re still looking for the “right” one or are thinking about marriage, you should find The Meaning of Marriage impactful. Heck, even if you’re married, you’ll still be able to find some gems.
Trust me, this book will change your life.